Anxiety disorder?
I have been planning to blog daily, but don’t know what to write in the end when I open up my blog. Guess it is the effect of keeping too much feeling to myself ? I used to argue, voice out or even SCREAM on how I feel when hubby and I have a disagreement. I feel better immediately after that. Now, I am tired of doing all these anymore. Rather keep calm and leave thing as it is. But I notice I ended up feeling not happy for the rest of the week 
It was an incident which happened 2 weeks ago. BIL and family came from Kuantan, so SIL asked us to go out to join them for lunch at the famous Fei Mou “wooden-shabby” restaurant in Cheras. Hubby (extremely paranoid with glass) did not like that place because there were empty bottles under the tables when we dined there last time.
Somehow, another SIL found out that the restaurant has moved and so they decided to go to another branch of Fei Mou Restaurant in Kuchai Lama. At least it is proper decent air-conditioned restaurant, and I was glad when we reached there. Unfortunately while dinning, a careless waitress somehow fell an empty glass directly just right behind us while she was setting up the table!
Obviously the Law of Attraction happened when we have that kind of fear and though in our mind
But that wasn’t my fault, was it? Hubby was indeed furious, EXTREMELY FURIOUS with me. He said that this would not happen if I have not promised to join his SIL for lunch when we were in the car. He was so mad (he won’t scream, but he will just keep quiet with a super black face) and that spoils our remaining weekend. Not wanting to make a fuss (it is useless anyway), I just kept quiet in the car. Even QQ became the next victim when she took off her slipper to sit cross legged with her leg on the car seat. Maid has her fair share too when he is mad, even at a slight mistake (or perhaps she is immuned by now?)
And of course, the next day he was back to normal. But not me. Although I was still very “boh kam wan” for being blamed like that. However we still communicate about work, about kids as if nothing happens.
For the rest of the week, I was not feeling happy. Not because of one incident, but he is getting more and more sensitive with unreasonable fear at all time. When he see “shinning bits” on the road / at corner of the restaurant floor / anywhere, he warn us not to step on it /ban us from entering to that place for life, fearing it might be broken glass that might accidentally cut on the children.
There was once when a person lining up in front of us at the Carrefour counter broken a florescent light. Instead of crazy laughter atmosphere in the car as usual, everyone went pale and quiet as hubby was horribly mad after getting into the car (worried that his kids might exposed to some chemical that emitted from the broken light).
Although I am sure he does not intend to behave in such a way, his sudden outburst and senseless anger is always turning our happiness and laughter into a very sober environment for no reason. Because of this phobia, there is no full length mirror for me at home. I tried to speak to him about this, but it only gets better a while, and then he is back to his original self again with weird phobia again. I am having a feeling that it will get worse as he aged. Middle age crisis? Or its ME who experience middle age crisis?
I am trying to figure out what can be done to make him better, or make us perform up to his standard. I feel sad. Very sad until I do not even care to defend myself, the maid, the kids anymore. I think I am the one who has to visit a physiatrist, very very soon!
Hormones playing tricks in your body, my guess. Yeah my mom has a different phobia, she is always afraid of any electrical things. Every time when it rain, she will go berserk, she doesn’t allowed us to watch TV or shower in hot water. Well if you see it from her point of view, she only care for us.
You cannot change others, best is to change ourselves to make things happier. I am still learning to do this.
I agree with Michelle. If you can’t change it, try to make it better lor. Everyone is “weird” in their own ways
If ur hubs is having a phobia, it is very hard to get over it, trust me. I have a phobia of driving and till now I don’t drive no matter what! You’ll need professional help to advise on this I guess…
Hugs to you and may the coming holiday help ease some tension…take care.
each person has own reason why they acted wierd to others…
we just got to learn to see on the different aspect– the positive part…
Hope this will make you happy…
I hope you can help your hubby overcome his phobia of glass. I know how you feel but phobias cannot be controlled wor. Just like me, I am extremely scared of roaches. Hard to control the feeling. I guess u just have to accept this quirk in him. He is afterall still a very good hubby.
Wow…. Dindn’t know CT is like dat one…take it ez fren..
it’s hard to “remove” one’s phobia over certain thing. maybe talk to him so that he won’t give u and everyone else “kam dai fan yeng” whenever he sees any broken glass. otherwise other ppl will start to have phobia of seeing him pulak
take it easy ya…
My mom is like that too, extremely hate glass or anything glass. If anyone broke one, she would get the housekeeper to first sweep it once over with a scrunched up newspaper, then twice over with toilet papers, then vaccumed, then wipe with a mop. I think usually 4 times would do it.
he has a phobia of glass. can’t blame him for acting up like that. the only way to help you and him is to see a specialist to overcome his fear. Some people have quirks and his is affecting all of you.
Each person has his own “peculiarities”. And I guess it’s almost impossible to change that. We just need to learn to adapt to such situations and make the best out of it. After all, each day passes by, whether we’re happy or mad. So, might as well be happy and “tai hoi teek”. I’m trying my best to adopt this philosophy too! And if u feel like “bursting out” mad, just talk it over with someone close to release the tension or just blog about it to pour out ur feelings. Good luck.
Everyone is weird in their own ways… but for you, blog about it might you happy, and you should do it and not keep it in the heart… you will go nuts if it accumulates too much.. you know, woman and man are very different creatures, we need to talk it out, then it would be ok…
I don’t know whether to call it a phobia or not but I have this thing about:
a) cats - When I was 8, I was minding my own business but the neighbour’s stupid cat just came over and scratched me on the leg! You can imagine how much I hate cats now
b) glass - When I was 11, I accidentally broke a glass in a hotel room by turning on the tap, which was on HOT. I got a huge gash in my palm and the scar is still there.
Maybe Hubby had some horrible experience with glass previously? I guess he’s anxious because he has 5 people to think and worry about i.e. you, the boys, QQ and the lastly, the maid.
Laughing about it certainly will not help. If you or Hubby laughed about it, I’d certainly be very mad too especially when I’m worried about the people I love.
Having said that, it’s not right for him to be blame you for the restaurant incident. I can imagine it’s hard to accept the anger but it’s actually a compliment: he feels THAT close to you that he can vent it out on you. If it’s not you, who would you rather he vent it out on? Someone else?
I don’t mind it if Hubby vents his anger out on me SOMETIMES but I would get really mad if he vented it out on the kids!
*hug hug* cnee!!
even if he means good on his loved ones, he failed to see the impact on you….it’s not healthy on you definitely.
but it’s also true that it’s near impossible to change one’s behaviour but u can improve it over time with TALKS, REMINDERS, talk again, remind again …just dun give up:)
my hubs is hot & short temper too & has a tendency to outburst too which ended us with a lot of unhappiness & arguments. i accepted the way he is but talked & talked abt the “issue” over the years…after sometime, he gets more careful & cautious abt his behaviour & my feelings
so i can say i’m happy with his improvement though he’s still hot…the temper lar
good luck pal
My phobia is caterpillars on veg and I’d scream in horror and refuse to use the whole bunch just b’cos of one teeny weeny wriggler. Hubby has his, as do the kids. We’ve learnt to handle these phobias without needing to hurt or take it out on those we love. I just can’t get my head around the idea that being conveniently lashed out at for something absolutely not your fault and beyond your control is a special kind of compliment you reserve for your dear ones. I totally bask in the knowledge that he’d seek my comfort and assurance that his “irrational freaking out” about spiders is okay with me, though. With this kind of phobia, there’s a chance I’d kena nearly every single day (there are spiders of all shapes and sizes in the garden, kitchen, and potentially just about any corner in the house)and be a mentally abused wife in less than a week, not to mention my kids as well!