Jul
04
2008
The Only Birth Regret I Had
I am really grateful that I manage to bring this twin pregnancy to 38 weeks 2 days, and they boys are at least matured to a desired weight when they are born.
They only regret I have now is the delivery process, which I believe can at least save me and the boys from a traumatic delivery and the after delivery. I know it is no use looking back, but I will jot this down as a record of my experience.
- I should have not allow them to break my water bag so soon (before epidural as administered)
- Taking too much Etonox gas before the arrival of epidural (ended up drowsy that I lost my sense how to push)
- I should have stop the unnecessary internal vaginal check by the trainees (very sore until I cannot feel the pushing anymore)
- I should have delivered with my professional private gynae
And most importantly, all the above has caused me so much discomfort & pain that I could not:
- Get up from bed to take care of my own babies
- No chance to breastfeed within the first 24 hours
- Delayed my plan to breastfeed exclusively, and I wonder if I still have a chance to do so
Don’t be too harsh on yourself, Chin Nee. It’s more important that the twins are well and so are you. Also don’t pressure yourself too much with b/feeding, it’s one of the toughest things in life to do successfully. If can, very good, if cannot, it doesn’t make you a bad mother. I didn’t b/feed exclusively with Bryan and realised that at the end of the day, I tried my best
take care. dont think too much ok
Ya, as what Paik Ling said, it is indeed grateful and thank God that 3 of you are safe & healthy. Whatever done is done and just try your best, give yourself some times, I am sure you can recover soon and b/f exclusively, it happened to many C-sect Moms. It doesn’t matter how early you started, it is how much you put your effort and at the end, you have no regrets! Don’t worry too much Chin Nee, it is a tough job to take of 2 babies at one go you know, make sure you get plenty of rest this first month, you need a lot of energy to take care of the Twins & QiQi too. Bravo!
The most important thing is mummy and babies are well. Don’t worry about exclusively breastfeeding your boy. If you have the will, you can do it. It’s still not too late. Just a motivation and encouragement to you. Maria of Mymomsbest, didn’t exclusively breastfeed her twin girls at the initial stage, but she did manage to eventually and I think was exclusively breastfeeding the girls till 13 months. Whatever is it, don’t be too harsh on yourself.
Don’t worry…as long all healthy…that is the best…
Breastfeeding is not tooo late…we will support you !!!!
CONGRATS!!! dun be so hard on yourself….hey your darling boys adore u right? of cos u can breastfeed them exclusively….just hang in there.
Oh well, when you go to a semi-gomen or gomen hosp, you have to deal with not very experience ppl. It looks like you have to make all the decision.
Anyhow, your boys have safely arrived. Now think positive.
I have the same regret 1 and 3 as you and an additional one of insisting that I wanted to have a drug free birth and rejecting epidural. Oh well, whats more important is that our babies is healthy. So lets forget those regrets shall we?
If you try very hard, you can still breastfeed exclusively. It will be very tough on you initially but believe you can do it, don’t give up and you will succeed.
Agreed with Michelle. Never expected good service from the goverment hospital le!!
don’t think too much. it’s not too late to start yr BF now…
If the womb is too painful to bf them, try to pump out and shorten the latch on. You can do it, all the best!!
usually there are lot of stories when give birth in goament…anyway, it’s over now but will be a good experience to share with future mom-to-be.
Take care and hope to meet the twin boys when u back to Melaka.
Dear ChinNee,
No matter where you deliver, you’ll have regrets. I have two types of experiences in Gahmen and Private..both also have regrets!
Remember it takes 6 weeks to establish a good milk supply, so YES! I say there is still time! Do allow them to suckle and get a good (electronic) pump - Medela is really good. Don’t give up until and unless you are physically and mentally exhausted.
All the mums here stand by you and will give you lots of positivity, so, stay strong k! I had to endure lots of pain too….and I felt like shit and panicky all the time…. it’s very normal to feel inadequate at this stage. You can do it…take it one day at a time. U are human..k!
One day at a time. Take a deep breath and tell yourself tomorrow is a brand new day!
dont think too much, most important is both you all are safe. concentrate on your journey to be a ‘cow’
Chin Nee,
as u said, no point to think back now. just enjoy what you have in front of you. enjoy your boys….
do rest.
so sorry to hear that……yes, we can never erase such regrets in life but the true fact is life still goes on!
so instead of living with regrets, keep them in d memory & choose to live positively…. d gift (2 babies) of god has savely arrived in your hands!
i believe since u r full time at home, u can make it up back on yr b/feeding journey…kah yao!!
Babies are healthy and safe! That’s the most important. Let’s look forward and work towards the future. You can still exclusively bf. Maybe a bit harder, but u can do it. I think u are well prepared. Jia YOu! YOu ahve lots of supporters here.
HI..I feel so bad and sad reading ur posting..But it’s good to let it out rather than keeping this inside u..believe me, if you keeping these feelings inside you, you will be alot more depressed than you are now…
I had very very bad birth experience too though it’s a normal birth..I had to be sent to the OT..bla bla bla..and alot of trainees were with me too..though they didnt check my vigina, but they so called taught me to push at the wrong time, so when it finally came, I had no strength to push…then bleeding..then OT..then..history..And it’s a private hospital….so….
And I was unable to b/fd..which really depressed me..I almost like lost control and almost getting into deep depression…I even shouted at my days-old son..”I wish u were not here!!”…
It’s not easy being a mom, hang in there..b/fd or not..it’s not important as in your case now..just try to relax and pray..pray for ur babies health & well being & pray for yourself…
Talk to your girl QQ..have fun..watch some TVs..take some photos..you will be fine..
Don’t dwell on what happened during the birth, what you should do is concentrate on getting better… maybe try breastfeeding lying down if it hurts too much. Remember, your twins need you, and so do QQ… you did a great job bringing the twins into this world, now enjoy their newborn moments
take care Chin Nee… enjoy your time with your babies… Shooi is right, the most important thing is the babies are healthy and safe now… *hugs*
once ur pain is over, u will not even remember how painful u were… take more rest n take care
ChinNee, I wanted to add that giving formula is not end of the world also ok? It’s perfectly fine, do not for one second feel like your babies are losing out. As long as they are fed, and well..then good. Don’t give yourself so much pressure to breastfeed….you’ll drive yourself MAD!
*hold hand and give big hugs*
hey there, to have had the journey as far as 38 wks is already amazing for the boys and it’s no doubt not an easy task for all 3 of you. And that itself is already proven that u are one great mommy that has gone so far :). So dont look back over what had happened during the giving birth and enjoy with the boys now. Most important is all 3 of you are safe and healthy. Breastfeeding can come 2nd
Hey there,
Congratulation on your newborn!!!!!!
I totally agree with Mott. Giving formula milk is not the end of the world. I used to think that way before but my husband convinced me that in our generation, breastfeeding is not very popular and most of us has grown up perfectly well with formula milk.Cheer up =) You are great to have them 38 weeks + Its not an easy task.
The most important thing is your double happiness are here! Congratulations!!!
Congratulations, Chin Nee!!! Don’t pressure urself 2 breastfeed. Try….but if ur really too tired, then ur really too tired. Ur babies need a happy, healthy mom more than anything 2 care for & love them *big, big hugs*
i tried b/f for 2 weeks and bb just wud not latch on, sigh! that was my regret, but then with all the DHA+A+A… they will be fine. hahaha…
try ur best loh, but rest 1st oh, always lie down, ur back, kena jaga. gambate! o.O
Chinnee I’m sorry to hear about your unpleasant experience, but you should think positive now and don’t give yourself too much stress.
Breastfeeding is a demand & supply game, try to feed more frequent and the milk flow will established, I know you can do it.
Most importantly, be happy, QQ & the twins need a hapy mummy to.
Yesterday was history. Be positive and I’m sure with your determination, you will be able to breastfeed your twins.
Congrats Chin Nee. Having twins like my colleague once said to me, is not double the work but more than double.
Don’t regret what has happened in the hospital, as the most important is the three of you are safe and sound.
Happy Twining.
I love to read your blog but always lazy to leave comments
You did your weighing before the birth of the baby…so, don’t feel bad with your decision. Now that the boys are here..enjoy every moment of it.
I know exactly how you feel about a) water bag bursting and b) Entonox gas as I experienced the same thing during my delivery. Anyway, it’s over - jotting it down is good to at least get it out of your system
Ya, I hear the stitches are more painful/sore for C-sect, which is why *everyone* encouraged me to go for normal delivery.
I agree with Mott - do focus on getting enough rest for yourself and caring for your baby boys and QiQi.
As a good Mum, I know you want to be able to breastfeed your babies exclusively…but your situation now is unlike other Mums who have only 1 child, twins first or 1 child after another.
Don’t stress yourself aiming for perfection! Just put them to the boobs when you can, rest, eat and see how it goes…
I never believe in breastfeeding mania! Remember, it’s a natural process thus it shouldn’t be “attacked” and “adhered to” like some quality management plan etc LOL