Problem with greetings
Am back from a long holiday (Actually did not manage to rest a lot also, since I feel even more uncomfortable being out from my own home, sleeping in the hotel bed 
)
We went back to hubby’s hometown early for Cheng Beng prayer this time. Although QQ has got a little cousin to play with, this time, they really fight for everything, from toys to even car seat in the car.
It make things worse when she refuse to greet her aunties and uncles (as if it is me who failed to teach her to greet people).
For instant, when her little cousin is taking vitamin and she also want it, her aunt was so hard on her and refuse to give it to her until she calls her. My girl is really stubborn and you know, she can just sit there and sob, tears falling down, looking at me telling me softly that she wants it. No matter how much we persuade her to call her aunt, she would still refuse and rather sit there and continue sobbing quietly.
It really makes me look like a failure, and I guess I am the only one mother with such problem among all my friends. Is it because she is shy or what? I notice this gets worse as she grows. Anyone could advice how to teach my girl to greet adults just like other kids?
cnee, come to think of this incident…”if qq don’t greet her aunt, she won’t give her d vit”…don’t u think there was an element of ‘threat’ there?
i guess qq felt that too & she may fell offended thus retaliated!!
i don’t think u r alone here, sometimes my boy would be the same too, the more we wanted him to do somethg, the more he feels pressured thus, the stronger is his objection!!
i think if request made on kids is more natural, it is less likely that the kids would rejects!
poor girl….
oh jaccs, nothing could help her greet, not even soft request…
Some kids are more shy..and you should not push her too hard. You can praise her when she starts to greet ppl on her own. Positive reinforcement is better than negative one. If she doesn’t want to greet the first time you ask her to, just let it go but when you and QiQi are at home, you need to let her know it is gracious to greet someone. Eventually it will sink in.
As for that aunt, she is in no authority to push QiQi into calling her. If such situation happens again, you probably can brush her off by saying, “It’s okay lah..she’s quite shy and i’m sure will greet you next time.” And, remember to pull Qiqi away from that scenerio.
thanks Vien for protecting qiqi. I still feel it is time for qiqi to learn since she is 4 by now.
no wonder the quietness in your blog. rupa rupa balik kampung.
Eh…you are not alone. My JS is like that too. Refuse to greet her aunts or grandparents when she’s not in the mood. Even when her Ku Ma phone to talk to her, she also refuse to talk. She just hold the phone and keep quiet. (She never does that to my parents though, not sure why). It really looks like as though I do not know how to teach her. Last time when we were young, whatever our parents say , we just obey without questioning. Now it’s so hard just to get her to greet, not stranger, but her aunts and grandparents. You say I pull hair or not…:(
yeah…Elaine, I feel the same way too, so stuck in between
i guess when they don’t see them often, they tend to be shy…
daily see her nanny also refuse to greet now
Don’t be too harsh on QiQi….The best way to teach her to greet is, you or your hubby greet everyone when you see anyone…or greet QiQi when she wake up in the morning, after nap, from school, hubby back from work, etc…..it works for both my son…..they will greet anyone they meet..
Jo, so clever both your sons !!
Hi Chin Nee…how r u doin?
I understand how u feel…my boy’s is like that too. I hv to ask him to greet ppl all the time, remind him b4 goin into ppl’s hse or meeting them etc etc. Sometimes he refuses too la! me geram for sure! like no manners la to me n it kinda reflects me too! But he’s getting better, maybe older now. BUT still not all the time spontaneous greeting! BOO! I still hv to explain or remind him once in a while! Btw…am sure when we were kids, we were never like that hor? we greet ppl ‘automatically’! ha ha ha!
take care! n take it easy ok.
Hi Elly, thanks, I m fine. Parenting is the most difficult thing in the world, i think…sigh….
Hi, my first time visiting.. about your little one, i suppose the child would be more willing to greet her aunt under less stressful situation ie if her aunt’s werent so intimidating?
My 8 year old used to be very friendly and greet everyone we asked her to. Come the time when she is about 5, she turned rebellious and said she was shy, refuse to greet anyone. Now that she is older, she understood that we take away privileges if she didnt mind her manners, so she is back to greeting elderly again. But 4 years old .. a bit tricky at that age.
poor qiqi. must be stressful for her. some kids are like that, including mine
vien’s advice is really good 
poor mummy here too…WAAAAAAAA….BArb…i am so sad!
My girl used to behave the same way as QQ when she was abt 3yo..she refused to greet anyone in my family because she was not familiar to them. Nw my mum is taking care of her, slowly she got used to her and started to greet people. I think must give QQ some time as it took about months for my girl to get used greeting other people. Now, she greets anyone, strangers in the lift too. Too friendly till I -_-”
maybe you can start asking her to greet her twins brother every day in your tummy, ask her to talk to them..slowly guide her, praise her and she will be very happy.
it probably takes some time…my fault since i m not looking into this issue before this.
Cool fren! One thing for sure, u r not alone! My 2 gals same ma… U know how i comfy myself? I will call all aunty & uncle on my 2 gals behalf! Hopefully those elderly adults are understanding! Now I send my Xuan to school every morning, she started to greet all teachers who greeted her, she will say ‘good morning’ to those who say ‘morning’ to her and say ‘zao an’ to those who speak mandarin to her in her ant heard soft voice, but i’m more than hapi!! Don’t push lil kid too much, let them grow at their own pace. I’m sure Qiqi is an outstanding one when she gets older!
thanks Kelly, u are really a cool mother!!
Never mind-lah. I think it’s just a phase. Some kids are just shy and we can’t expect them to change their personality to suit the circumstances. My boy is also like that sometimes and I just let it be. After some time, he will warm up to the strangers around him. No need for pressure, I think.
haha….not when the adults are giving pressure to your kids…hehe
I definitely side QiQi. Sometimes I just couldn’t understand why adults insist little kids to greet them and to the extend of making them cry. That aunt of QiQi is too much!
thanks Jefferene for being kind to QQ. Not every adult can understand like us do :p
I have the same problem with Tee so I asked the school and tey told me not to pressure her but to just lead by example and one day, she would just ‘get it’. Kids like to follow your example…..now, she is just very shy. Also I know that Tee’s personality is such that if I tell her to do something, then she purposely doesn’t wanna do it!!!
thanks a lot, Patsy. Really feel a lot better with your sharing
At one point of time, Alycia was like this, just would not open her mouth with gold nuggets inside. She would not talk when in the presence of strangers or relatives. No matter how much we coerced her to greet people, she just wouldn’t. She just is quite a stubborn girl. I really thought she had selective mutism.
After a while and esp. after attending pre-school for a few months, Alycia totally changed. Now, she’s so sociable and greets everyone without being told to greet.
Now, it’s Sherilyn’s turn to go through this phase where she will not open her mouth when in the presence of strangers. I am not worried at all nor am I going to force her to do so coz I know she will surely get over this phase just like Alycia. So dont worry, Chin Nee, QQ will def get over this phase. Relax…..
u r more experience, Shireen….must learn more from u…